Friday, September 30, 2011

sepi,,,,

as salam....

cty sem 1....sbulan stengah....lama kott...
hmmm..tadapape un y mnarik...tadape y best....kwn2 ramai matriks....
hmmmm.....sy rasa sunyi lah.....seriously...sy lbh suka bila ad bnyk keja.....
sy sukaa......sbb msa tu ak tak akn fkr pkr lain...fokus ak ntuk siapkn keja je....
tp.....skrg....hmmm..ak rasa sunyi....

sepi......
ak x suka......
masa2 mcm neyh buat ak rasa sdih....
bnyk kali.....
bnyk kali ak teringat abah....
stp pkr y slalu dya buat....
stp kali ak melangkah ke suatu sudut d dlm rumah....ak tringat abah....
ak tataw...tp ak asyik teringt pada abah.....
dan stp iklan y mnunjukkn ank n abah....ak dh rasa sebak....
yeah...sy tawu.....sy manja.....
i cant deny it.....
bila ak tgok iklan ank suapkn ayahnye mknn.....ak akn tringatkn saat itu...saat ak suapkn utk abah......
ak rasa cm tak leyh nk dok lam rumah laaaa...ak akn rasakn stp moment y ak ada dgn abah...every single thing that i do in the house will make me remember of him...how i'm suppose to be happy? when i realise that he's not there? in his usual position?

Ya Allah...skrg neyh ak btui2 rasa sebak...
ak x mmpu nk lawan ksunyian neyh....
ak x mmpu nk lwn perasaan neyh....
dan ak x bleyh nk slahkn knangan y ak ada with abah.....
what an i suppose to do?

how i wish i could cure myself.....
how i wish not to b a burden to anyone esp my mom.....

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku...
ssunguhnya ak seorg hmba Mu y lemah....
ak mohon sekatkn lah hatiku ini dpd pkr2 y mnyedihkn....
kuatkn hati ini utk trus tabah mghadapi hidup ini tnpa abah lagi.....
ak plu kuat......
sbb nty ak plak akn jga mak.....

astaghfirullahalazim.....ckup lah _________________.....

i wish i could return return to melaka.....
get myself involve in karisma....
i'll be damn busy with the practices n the competition.....

i wish i could go 4 kdo...
at least i'll be busy helping myself to understand debate better n learn how to adjudicate people....

i wish...i wish n i wish.....
but this is all just temporary....
i cant run away....
this is a fact....
try to adapt khairunisa !!!!






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